Wormmon strikes back !
by Bronze Dragon
Summary: A strange fic starring Ken, Wormmon and a popular breakfast food. R/R


Wormmon strikes back  
by Bronze Dragon

*Disclamer (in grunt speak) : No own show. Please no sue Bronze Dragon.*

Warnings : Some character tortue/bashing. (Read : Please flame me !)  
The fic in itself is a strange drama/humour abomination, so you cannot say you were not warned !  
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Ken had had a horrible day, he was surrounded by pathetic humans, antagonized by primitive brutes and embarassed by his idoitic parents ... he was in a horrible mood. But enough of that, he thought. "Time for breakfast." he said to no one as the microwave beeped from the other room.

The evil feat accomplished. The damage done. As revenge for all the pain that Ken had caused him, Wormmon had done the unthinkable, he had stolen the, ... the Kaiser's scream violently cut through the air as it echoed in the halls of the fortress, "Who took my Eggo !!!!". Wormmon rapidly scurried away as the Kaiser stomped out of his vast throne room, and down the main hall. Wormmon had stolen the Kaiser's Eggo. A suiting revenge, Wormmon commented, satisfied. He frantically nibbled on the offending piece of hot bread, trying to destroy the last and only damning evidience. Alas, try as he should, his stomach felt ready to burst at the seems after a few minutes of gnawing on Ken's eggo. Wormmon looked down in horror and panic as he was holding a torn, half-eaten eggo. He was going to need help, Wormmon concluded, as he stealthily sneaked across the dusty and unused sections of the Kaiser's fortress.

The Digimon Kaiser rapped his fingers impatiently on the arm rest of his throne, overlooking the collection of screens which were monitoring the digital world, the digidestend and the status of his dark towers, but none of this mattered to him now. He did not care. He had not had his Eggo this morning. The thought haunted the Kaiser's mind as he clenched his fist and slammed the hard stone of the throne. He was going to find the Eggo thief, take back his Eggo, eat it, and then he would kill the thief or barring that killing someone who looked like they had stolen his Eggo. What had he done to deserve this ? Ken thought, Sure, he had tortued Digimon and forced them to fight in a savage, brutalistic arena. Sure, he had made many his unwilling slaves and had forced them to work, but, steal his Eggo ? Who could go so far ?

The Digidestend were walking aimlessly through a forest or some other assorted secluded area, as they usually do. "Why are we aimlessly walking through an assorted secluded area ?". Hikari piped up, breaking a five minute silence of aimless walking. "Because that's what we usually do." replied Miyako, from the back of the group. "Then why do we usually do it ?"

"Because we have nothing better to do. We're supposed to walk aimlessly until we find a dark tower, destory it, and then we aimlessly walk again, at least for the first few episodes."

Aburptly, Veemon turned his and spoke to Daisuke. "Davish ? Why are you calling him the kaiser ? Do you know that's a type of bun ?"

Daisuke clamly turned to face Iori. "Iori, can I borrow your kendo stick ?"

"Ummm ... sure, I don't see what harm that could do.", and with that Iori handed Daisuke the item in question.

"Davish ? Why are you looking at me like that ? Davish !"

"That joke is getting annoyingly old."

The sounds of wood slicing the air and repeated strikes against flesh and bone lasted for several minutes, accompanied by screams of pain and terror. Aburptly, the screams ceased and after a few experimental slashes, the sounds did as well. Daisuke politely handed Iori back his kendo stick and re-assured the group. "He was the one from the dub ... the author made it quite clear that he was not to live. I just needed a reason to kill him." The rest of the digidestend nodded understandingly and continued their aimless walk. However, their aimlessness was not to be. As the bushes near the dirt path, which digidestend were traveling on, began to rustle. Seemingly leaving the camoflauge of the bright green leaves, an oddly proportioned creature stood in front of the digidestend.

Ken had not done any evil deeds this day. He was putting his mind to work, he usually loved puzzles but this one was frustratingly personal. The bastards had taken his Eggo ! And now they would die ! ... After he solved the puzzle, he thought, calming himself down. And were was Wormmon ? Ken sighed and he turned to one of his monitors. Maybe watching the antics of those pathetic excuses for carbon-based lifeforms that call themselves the digidestend will lighten the mood.

Wormmon scampered towards the large gathering of digidestend, "Hey over here !" Serveral heads from thr group turned to face him, whilst a few others were in a heated discussion on the merits of aimless walking. "Wormmon ?", Iori queried confusedly. "Aren't you the kaiser's digimon ?"

"Well, yes, but ..."

"But ... ?"

"You see I have this problem ..."

Armadimon meekly walked out from behind Iori, and he noticed that the kaiser's larva digimon was holding a half-eaten piece of now cold bread. Stepping up on his toes, he whispered into Iori's ear.

"Is that an Eggo ?" Iori clamly asked Wormmon

"Well, that's part of the problem ..."

Armadimon's jaw dropped. "Yo, you stole the Digimon Kaiser's Eggo ?"

Wormmon's figure dropped, in a sort of small shame. "I did it for revenge ... but now I regret going so far. I want you to just eat it, so that everything can be forgotten."

"But it's cold now !"

"Hmmm ... what if V-mon evolved to Fladramon and heated it up ?"

"Sure ... we would but there's no syrup, and Daisuke was accidently paired up with the dubbed Veemon."

"So, he's one of those wierd americans. He can still evolve right ... Right ?"

"Yes, but Daisuke beat him to death with Iori's kendo stick."

"... Oh well, it's probably for the better anyways."

Takeru suddenly turned to face Wormmon, drawing in air, Takeru started to speak. "Even if we could eat it, we wouldn't. You did something wrong and you should come out into the open and admit to it."

"But this is an open area ... and I couldn't upset Ken-kun."

"It doesn't mat ...." Takeru 's sentence was cut off as the back of his head was met with an aburpt roundhouse kick to back of his head. Miyako, who had just closed the debate on the usefulness of aimless walking, was the antagonist. "Quit being such a righteous little prick, Takeru !" Takeru began to rise again but Miyako's foot pressed against his throat, slowing his breath and forcing his face into the dirt.

(Author's note : Any moral forming there was crushed with swift and extreme prejudice. Have a nice day.)

From the behind all fury involving the stolen Eggo, Daisuke emerged. He looked at Wormmon evily and asked. "How long would it take for you to summon the kaiser here ?"

Ken awoke from a short catnap, to screeching of a monitor. Incoming message, it said. Who dared interrupt him at this time ? He flicked the monitor on and was greeted with the face of Wormmon. Before his Digimon could speak, he formed a scowl and yelled. "Where have you been ??". Curiously, the larva digimon was not frightening when the kaiser had yelled at it. In fact, it was smiling. Happy. This only made Ken more irritated. Wormmon finally spoke, "Well Master, when I saw that you were upset about your Eggo, I decided to help you." A hmmmph was his only reply. "I found the thief for you." Ken's face lighted up for a second, before returning to it's usual calm state. Maybe this lowly worm is good something,he thought. "I'll be right there." he replied coldly.

Hikari gave Daisuke a bewildered look. "Why would you want the kaiser to come here ?"

"Well you know how I try to nice to you and you never appriciate it ? And how you laugh at my expense ?"

"Daisuke, I ..."

Daisuke hold up his hand to stop any further protest. He grabbed Hikari by the arm and twisted it behind back, tying both her arms together with a line of rope he had saved in his jacket pocket. "Dai ...", before Hikari could finish the sentence, a cold, half-eaten Eggo was shoved in her mouth. Daiuske soon got a cruel idea. Maybe the kaiser would like her a little beat up ? Daisuke lifted Hikari's crumbled form and kneed her directly in the gut. Then as she began to curl into a ball protectively, he brought his elbow upon her back with a sound crack. As he saw the shadow of Airdramon, he was almost angry that his fun had been interrupted. He gave Hikari a final kick to the gut.

At that momment, the Digimon Kaiser arrived on Airdramon. "The Digidestend ?" he said with scorn.

Wormmon walked up to Ken and spoke to him. "Once they found out that one in their ranks had commited such a hideous crime, they were glad to help."

Daisuke called and motioned to the kaiser, regarding the crumpled form of Hikari. "She ate your Eggo." Before the kaiser dragged Hikari off, Daisuke whispered a word into her ear. "Revenge." Ken stood in front of Hikari, grinning. "I've always wanted to say this." he remarked as he grabbed her by her wrists. He thrusted her stomach causing her spit out the stale piece of bread. "L'eggo my Eggo !" Takeru, still in Miyako's choke hold, managed a grabled word of protest but nothing else.

Later that day, upon Airdramon, carrying the kaiser and his digimon, along with a pathetically struggling Hikari, Ken carefully navigated the dramon's spines to reach Wormmon. He was with me, even though no one cared ... and he brought a digidestend for me to play with ... Ken smiled, not an evil smile, but one of joy as he patted the scared little larva digimon, who was obviously scared of flying such heights in his current form. "Thank you, Worm-kun."

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End Comments ? First of all, I'm stick of all this Daisuke bashing and Hikari's 02 attitude, so naturally my sadist mind was at work here. *evil grin* I hate that bun joke too, it does not mean Ken is edible ! *shoos away the wanna-be cannibals* but a happy ending, ne ? Now review ! And be quick with it !


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